Dos and Don'ts for Online Dating

A Match Made Online -- An Online Dating Love Story:

7 years ago I joined eHarmony with the hopes of meeting that special someone. I spent a couple of hours on my profile, filled out every detail, and payed for 3 months of communication, and waited for matches. Several popped up right away, so I initiated conversation with some of them. Some never responded while others I talked to for a couple of  weeks. None of them really "clicked" though. Finally, a month and a half into the process I sent a communication request to a guy who was from my own state who looked like somebody I was interested in. A couple of weeks passed and no response. I decided to clean out my matches and closed off the ones that didn't look compatible or the ones that never responded, but something told me to keep that guy's match open.

 And then it happened! I got a response from him and we began the communication process.

The process went quickly from there. Every day we chatted back and forth, getting to know all about each other; our likes and dislikes, things we do for fun, places we like to go or have been, etc. Things just "clicked" with him. I eagerly checked my messages every day to find messages from him and quickly responded. It felt like talking to a long-time friend.

A couple of weeks in, we exchanged phone numbers. That first phone call lasted 3 hours. We began talking on the phone daily, spending hours on the phone every night, enjoying each other's company via phone. Just to add a funny twist, he thought he had free nights and weekends on his cell phone plan, so he called me every night. He apparently didn't though! He ended up racking up a $1,000 phone bill for that first month! LOL! Thankfully the phone company had mercy on him and let him just pay $200.

Anyway, so a month in we finally decided to meet in person. We met in the parking lot of my church (where he'd also visited in the past). We were both so nervous meeting in person for the first time, but we quickly picked up where we left off with our phone conversations. Our romance grew from there and we began a 10 month long distance relationship with lots of phone calls, lots of driving back and forth, and a very romantic proposal. We were married the next June and have been married for 6 years now and neither of us would change it for the world.

Online Dating Dos and Don'ts 

So, having been through it myself, I have compiled a list of Dos and Don'ts when dating online. And here they are!

Do:

Choose a reputable site
Don't just jump into any old site. You could run into a scam and never get anything out of it. Some sites could be shady and are just out to get your hard-earned-cash and others your credit card information. Make sure the website is reputable before signing up and especially before putting money into it.

Put your whole into it if you expect to get anything out of it. 
You get out of it what you put into it. If you don't put any thought into filling out your profile answering questions, you probably won't get a second glance from most of the matches you get. Anything worth doing is worth doing right! Fill out essay questions thoughtfully and thoroughly--and don't forget to be honest! Which brings me to the next point.

Be Honest
Make sure to BE HONEST when filling out your profile and talking to matches online. If you really want somebody who is compatible with you, you really don't want to lead them to believe you are somebody that you are not. I mean, come on, they are going to find out sooner or later that you lied, and then what kind of relationship will you be left with? The last thing you want to do is start off a relationship with a bunch of lies. Take my advice and just tell the truth from the get-go. You'll be glad you did.

Only go as fast as you feel comfortable
Don't jump right into meeting in person if you don't feel comfortable doing so yet or you don't really feel like you know the person yet. It pays to take your time getting to know each other. The more you know about each other before you meet, the less likely it'll bomb out. Exchange phone numbers and talk on the phone for awhile before taking the plunge to meet in person. Putting time and nurturing a relationship from the start pays in the long run and could eventually lead to the lifelong of love together. Think about it. If it works out, you'll have your whole lives together to spend in person. It is worth taking your time to get to know each other and enjoy the process.

Meet in a public place
This may be obvious, but it's worth putting on here and repeating again and again if necessary. Safety is important! When you finally do decide to take that plunge, make sure you meet in a public place, or even take someone with you if you wish. This will put you in a lot less danger if your "match" turns out to be a psycho. If other people are around and close by, they will be able to run to your aide if need be; or a scary situation could be avoided altogether since criminals generally avoid public places to break the law.



Don't:

Give out personal information
Give out your address or any other personal information  until you have met in person and are SURE that they are who they say they are and not, for lack of a better word, a psycho. Again, safety is important! It is easy for people to "hide" behind a computer screen and pretend to be something they are not. Take proactive measures.

Compromise on issues that are important to you
Don't compromise on important issues. It is hard to keep a relationship going when two people strongly disagree on things that are very important to them, especially religion and politics. If you really want the person to be compatible, it is better to just pass on a particular match if they do not agree on things that are very important to you. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Odds are,  you'll find one that DOES agree eventually.

Get desperate
Don't just jump on the first match you see. Yes, it is exciting when matches pop up on your profile, but take your time to get to know them. If something doesn't feel right or you just feel like you don't "click", close the match and move on. I talked to several others before I met my husband, and believe me, you'll know when it is the right one. You'll just "click".

Be afraid to expand your horizons
Sometimes if you limit to your local area only, you are going to have a very limited list of matches and may not meet  "the one". I learned this quickly in my experience with online dating. And, now, looking back, had I not expanded my horizons beyond my comfort zone, I never would have met my "Mr. Right" who, even now, we are still amazed at how compatible we are and how alike we think! He lived 5 hours from where I lived, so it was definitely beyond my comfort zone, and it meant a long distance relationship would ensue and that one of us would have to move eventually. You know what, though? For the right person it is all worth it times 10000!! So don't be afraid to expand your horizons with your dating radius! You might just meet that perfect someone you were meant to be with!

And there you have it! My list of Dos and Don'ts for online dating!